A Second Marriage And Things To Consider Before Saying I Do
Are you considering a second marriage? Before you pop the question, ask yourself as to why. Are you really ready to share your life again for the right reasons of love or is a second wedding what you want because you are feeling lonely or have a fear of growing old alone?
In the event you are currently single due to divorce, before you remarry look at your first marriage and consider where you both went wrong. It can be easy to blame your ex-spouse, but it does take two for a marriage to fail in most circumstances. In all fairness to your new mate, you really need to think to yourself of how you can be a better spouse. Why didn’t the first marriage work out? What are the things that contributed to the failure of your last marriage? What are the things that you need to work on so that this same problem does not occur in future relationships?
If you are struggling to answer these questions, you may consider getting help from a second person, perhaps a counselor, so that they can give you the advice you need on how to solve these problems and on how to communicate better in your next relationship.
Second marriages have one advantage that previous marriages don’t have and that is you can decide on what kind of characteristics or behaviors you want in your future spouse? You need to decide what you are willing to accept, compromise or disallow such as smoking and other issues. Therefore, stick to your desires and don’t just settle. Until the right person comes along, enjoy your freedom. Do not rush into anything and do the things that you have always wanted to do and better yourself so that you will be fulfilled. Do not expect anybody to fill that empty spot in your life, only you can do that yourself. What you should want is someone to enjoy your lives together, someone you can talk to, laugh with and have unconditional love from. So until the moment is just right, enjoy your life because when the moment is right, love will find its way.
When you are ready to enter in to your second marriage, you need to remember that the freedom that you had will be changing. You will have more obligations than before, and thus you will need to be prepared for this. As you enter into this new era of your life, there are several things that you should beware of to make sure that this new chapter will not repeat itself from before. Have healthy expectations of one another and do not go into it solely based on love. New love may be amazing and exciting, but it does start to dwindle so be aware, communicate and know what is expected from one another.
No one can read your mind, so to ensure a healthy marriage you need to openly discuss this with one another. Be realistic and do not always expect a fairytale relationship as they have their rough points as well, but be committed to one another. Do not completely give up your happiness for your spouse as you need to encourage each other and be happy with the way that your spouse is. Do not go into a marriage thinking that you can change one another either, as it will not happen.
As mentioned, you need to have open communication with one another. Do not hide your feelings from each other, as they can build up and cause you to explode over little things leaving your partner confused and hurt. You need to know that every person has their own weaknesses and that no marriage is perfect. You need to be able to make decisions together and respect your partner’s opinion, even if you do not agree. Arguments can break a relationship if you let them, therefore you need to be quick to apologize and take responsibility for your part. It is a good idea to have the same beliefs and goals in life so that you both are on the same page and can start your marriage out on a solid foundation.
If your new spouse has children, you need treat them with the same love and respect that you have for their parent and do not leave them out. You all need to be on the same page or it simply will not work in the long run. For your second marriage to be fruitful, sacrifice and true love need to be top priorities.